Alaskan Capitol News

THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED]

Posted in: Dating App Satire · Modern Romance Critique · Online Dating Oddballs

Author: Chance Trahan

Date: 2019-02-16 15:31:06

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She said 🤡—SHE LIKES PIZZA.

When you DO match up with this magical PIZZA fairy, she ghosts you just for her pleasure.

When she finally— can't possibly avoid you anymore, she politely explains that she's just, "not ready to date anyone".

Okay, touche. So, WHY TF YOU ON TINDER THEN? 🤦‍♂️

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💬Just when you thought that, "just because you like PIZZA doesn't mean that...."

ANYONE ELSE (WITH HALF A BRAIN) NOTICING A PIZZA–REFERENCING TREND HERE?

WHAT ABOUT THE SPIDER WEBBED EYELASHES & BLUE BALLS? (SHE'S APPARENTLY ALL ABOUT THEM)

🤔💭HMM.... WE'RE JUST GONNA SWIPE LEFT.
DOING RESEARCH [PAYS OFF] NOW THIS [IS EXACTLY WHAT GEORGE SOROS DOES] CRISIS ACTORS [DON'T EXIST, RIGHT?] THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED] The Black Ops 7 Backlash: Is It Trash Before It’s Even Played? President Trahan's Bold State of the Union: A Rallying Cry Against Corruption and Call for True Freedom Eric Swalwell: The Spy Who Loved Me (And Maybe a Few Others) The Dark Reign of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz: The Saga of the Somali Fraud-Soaked Pride Parading Clown Prince of Pushovers I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER] Jasmine Crockett: The Congressional Firebrand or Political Powder Keg? DOING RESEARCH [PAYS OFF] NOW THIS [IS EXACTLY WHAT GEORGE SOROS DOES] CRISIS ACTORS [DON'T EXIST, RIGHT?] THERE'S PIZZA HERE [AND I'M STARVED] The Black Ops 7 Backlash: Is It Trash Before It’s Even Played? President Trahan's Bold State of the Union: A Rallying Cry Against Corruption and Call for True Freedom Eric Swalwell: The Spy Who Loved Me (And Maybe a Few Others) The Dark Reign of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz: The Saga of the Somali Fraud-Soaked Pride Parading Clown Prince of Pushovers I AM SO SICK OF THE NIGHTMARE [AND TWITTER] Jasmine Crockett: The Congressional Firebrand or Political Powder Keg?
Refreshing...